That’s a long way from trying to get someone fired because he or she might have picked the Cardinals 16 years ago in what turned out to be a blizzard at Gillette Stadium (please note: this is just an example; there’s no proof anyone was actually daft enough to think this).

New coach, new QB, same, old problems at the line of scrimmage, where the Patriots addressed their glaring need on the offensive side of the ball with a couple draft picks (tackle Caedan Wallace in the third round; guard Hayden Robinson in the fourth) and little else. Short of keeping Hog Whisperer Dante Scarnecchia on speed dial (he already said, “no”), the Patriots have done about as much to protect rookie Drake Maye as they did to conduct a fair and viable search for a head coach, i.e, hire Mike Vrabel.

If members of Robert Kraft’s PR team were 300 pounds each, it would be the most impenetrable offensive line in history. The one that counts though is still a mess.

Starting quarterback Jacoby Brissett got the job heading into the season mainly because of his veteran leadership skills. But he’s also going to play sacrificial body lamb until the line gets it together enough (or so) to seriously consider Maye. Or for when Kraft gets kind of even more bummed about being left out of primetime and demands to see the kid. Whichever comes first. 

“I feel very confident that those guys are locking in on the plan, ironing out the details and I’m excited for them to really make their impact on this team because it starts with them,” Brissett said. “I know what they are capable of, and I’m excited for them to show [it].”

At least somebody is. Check back with us on Sunday through, Jacoby, so we can note how you feel then.

This week’s predictions:

Pete Prisco, CBS Sports: Bengals 26, Patriots 17. “Joe Burrow is back healthy for the Bengals in this one, which immediately makes the Bengals a contender. Being at home is even more of an advantage against a Pats team that has roster limitations. New coach Jerod Mayo will have this team playing a tough brand of football, but in the second half it will be Burrow who takes over as Jacoby Brissett struggles.”

CBS Sports staff: Six of seven take the Bengals (-8.5).

Jimmy Kempski, Philly Voice: Bengals (-8). “After watching the Patriots’ offense in just one joint practice during training camp, I’m extremely confident that they aren’t (a) going to be able to protect the quarterback or (b) score many points.”

Sam Farmer, Los Angeles Times: Bengals 31, Patriots 13. “These are not the Patriots of old. Cincinnati should win this handily. The Bengals pass rush will create all sorts of problems for New England, and Joe Burrow & Co. should be fine.”

Vic Tafur, The Athletic: Bengals. “Burrow also got Ja’Marr Chase back at practice on Wednesday, and while everyone is being quiet about his status for Week 1, Burrow said his star receiver is “ready to go.” The Patriots are not.”

The Athletic staff: Bengals across the board.

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: Bengals 17, Patriots 6. “No Bill Belichick on a New England sideline for first time since 1999, and Patriots are biggest underdogs of Week 1 and on a 5-14-1 skid against the spread. Cincy star WR Ja’Marr Chase is back from his contract mess, though his status for Sunday remained in doubt as of Thursday — but Joe Burrow and Gals at home should handle rebuilding Pats in any case. Just a matter of time before NE turns to rookie QB Drake Maye. Early October?”

ESPN staff: All 11 pick the Bengals.

USA Today staff: All Bengals.

MMQB staff: Ditto.

Gerry Dulac, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: Bengals 28, Patriots 9. “A healthy Joe Burrow makes all the difference for the Bengals, who had their two-year reign as division champ ended last season. Just when you were getting accustomed to the Patriots without Tom Brady, now there’s no Bill Belichick, either.”

Vinnie Iyer, The Sporting News: Bengals 27, Bengals 14. “The Bengals should be pumped to have a healthy Joe Burrow leading the offense again with the Patriots’ defense being in transition without Bill Belichick. They can slow down some of Burrow’s support, but not all. The Patriots’ offense, with whoever’s at QB, can’t expect to keep up, and it will also face a strong pass rush and tough coverage looks once it’s not in position to keep running.”

Bill Bender, The Sporting News: Bengals 25, Patriots 17. “The largest line of Week 1 has the Bengals at home in Week 1, and Joe Burrow and the starters played more in the preseason this year. That’s because Cincinnati has lost in Week 1 in four of the past five seasons, and the only victory was in overtime against Minnesota in 2021. The Patriots open a new chapter with Jerod Mayo, and the key will be avoiding turnovers on the road. Get this line now before it drops during the week.”

Mike Florio, Pro Football Talk: Bengals.

Chris Simms, Pro Football Talk: Bengals.

It says here: Bengals 17, Patriots 13. The 2024 Patriots may be a lot like the 2024 Red Sox; a team not quite ready for the next step, but that milestone might be closer that you think. Or they might wind up with the No. 1 pick, which they will have to use on a lineman. Not exactly the kind of talk that lights up the board. Speaking of, have you seen the lighthouse?